


Euphoria

by Loader_Bot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:45:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loader_Bot/pseuds/Loader_Bot
Summary: Harry's trying to get the true memory from Slughorn by using Felix Felicis. What if Slughorn doesn't give up his memory so easily?





	Euphoria

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. My second fic (and this is a finished one). English is not my native language, so if there are any errors I would like to hear it, so I can learn from it.  
> I never believed that there would be a potion like Felix Felicis in the Wizarding World, for various reasons. I believe that Slughorn knows this, just like any respectable Potions Master and that he gave the winner an Elixir to induce Euphoria. So that's what I'm rolling with in this fic.

‘You are talented, famous, and powerful – everything Horace values. Professor Slughorn is going to try to collect you, Harry. You would be his crowning jewel.’

Harry believed he’d tried everything to get into the good graces of Slughorn. He did his best in Potions class, despite the infuriating looks from Hermione and sometimes even Ron because he used the notes from the Halfblood Prince. He wanted to attend the Slug parties but there were none lately according to Ginny. He would hang around Slughorn’s office in the hope of meeting him but he was never there. Although he sometimes heard music playing, the professor wouldn’t open the door and only left the office for classes or diner. On those moments, he was always in a hurry. He asked Ron and Hermione’s help. Ron couldn’t come up with any realistic plans and Hermione’s were too subtle. She believed what Dumbledore believed: that there was something about Harry that could change Slughorn’s mind, they just needed to find out what. Harry wasn’t so sure anymore. His stomach felt heavy remembering the disappointed look on Dumbledore’s face. He had to step it up. When multiple days had passed with fruitless attempts he felt like giving up. He met Hermione and Ron in the Common Room. They talked about Ron’s failed Apparition exam and Hermione’s success. Hagrid’s letter, which contained the “sad” news of the passing of the Acromantula Aragog, also distracted Harry. He felt sorry for Hagrid and wanted to attend the funeral, Hermione and Ron were a bit hesitant. Eventually the topic came back to discussing obtaining the memory of Slughorn and Harry felt the responsibility again weighing heavily on his shoulders. Luckily there was finally Ron’s brilliant plan of trying the Felix Felicis.  
When he drank it, it had tasted sweet. He felt his confidence grow and it felt like everything was possible. A happy, serene feeling was pooling in his chest.  
‘What does it feel like?’ Hermione had whispered.  
‘Excellent. Really excellent… Right. I’m going down to Hagrid’s!’  
‘What? No, you have to go to Slughorn, remember?’ Hermione had said confused.  
‘No, no. You don’t understand. I feel that Hagrid’s is the right place. Felix knows.’  
They had looked worried but didn’t argue further when Harry walked to the portrait of the Fat Lady.  
‘I’ll be right back.’ He’d said confidently over his shoulder and he’d stepped out into the hallway. The route which passed the greenhouses was a success, he’d caught Slughorn in the act of stealing and that gave him an advantage. He still believed Hagrid’s was the place to be and it wasn’t hard convincing Slughorn to attend the funeral of a rare Acromantula, although he didn’t really try.

It had been hard to feel sad for Hagrid when the potion had made him so… euphoric. He tried not to giggle when Hagrid unintendedly unceremoniously tossed Aragog in the hole. What was wrong with him? Slughorn had given him a strange sideway glance, but Harry thought nothing of it. Even if Slughorn would think his behavior was a bit strange, it wouldn’t ruin anything. Not with Felix on his side. In Hagrid’s hut Slughorn and Hagrid had a bit too much to drink, which had pleased Harry. Being drunk and loose tongues and all… It would only help his cause. When Hagrid passed out, Slughorn had turned to Harry. They had talked about his mother which made Slughorn feel sad and uncomfortable. Harry didn’t feel anything but joy and determination. This was going to work. He’d never been so manipulative and normally it would have made him doubt himself. But not today. He was a man with a plan. They had talked some more and it irritated him a bit that it didn’t help. Sure, Slughorn had told a lovely story of Harry’s mother and Harry’s dark turn to that story made sure where his loyalty was. But the memory was still miles away. Or was it?  
‘Did you ever drink mead, Harry?’ Slughorn asked and his pale, gooseberry eyes locked onto Harry’s.  
Harry nodded. A bit. It had tasted like honey. But when?  
Slughorn chuckled. ‘Me too. It’s a far more refined taste than the Elf-made wine here. Maybe we should let poor Hagrid grieve alone, hm? We can talk about more serious matters in my office.’  
Harry’s heart made a little jump at the words. Finally, some progress. He was worried the potion was going to wear off before he could obtain the memory. The talks about his mother, Voldemort, Slughorns thoughts on the Order of the Phoenix, being the so called “Chosen one”; it must have convinced Slughorn where his loyalty should be. Slughorn was scared and wouldn’t even risk Hagrid possibly listen in. Harry understood that. Harry had the feeling he could understand everything right now. They walked back to the castle and Harry noticed how difficult it was to walk. The grass was slippery and made him almost trip a couple of times. Luckily Slughorn caught him by the elbow. ‘Whoa there, didn’t notice you also had a bit too much to drink, Harry.’  
His legs seemed very light, but also too clumsy to seem to know how to walk normally. He did try though. When they finally reached Slughorns office, Harry was relieved he could finally sit down so his restless legs couldn’t do any weirder steps.  
Slughorn had walked to the back of his office and while lighting a fire with the flick of his wand, he picked out a dark yellow coloured bottle from his cabinet. Slughorn filled two glasses and passed one to Harry. He held his own glass and said: ‘To lost loved ones.’ Harry picked up his glass and said the same. He felt a bit bad that he couldn’t muster any sad feelings at the funeral but something stopped that thought. He took a sip.  
‘Professor, I don’t want to be too direct, but I believed you said you wanted to discuss some serious matters?’ Harry said and tried to look innocent.  
Slughorn chuckled. ‘Yes, I believe I did. Tell me, Harry, do you feel sad that your parents were murdered?’  
Harry blinked. ‘Professor?’  
Slughorn smiled sadly. ‘You should answer a question when a Professor asks you to, Harry.’  
For the first time that evening his brain couldn’t keep up. This was a weird question. Right? Immediately the doubt was pushed away.  
‘Yes, I feel sad.’  
‘Right now?’  
‘Yes.’  
‘Really?’ Slughorn seemed… surprised? The Potions Professor stood up and leaned against the table, close to Harry. The table creaked under the weight.  
‘Because you don’t look sad right now, Harry. Not one bit.’  
If there was any concern growing it was wiped away immediately.  
‘Professor, it was a long time ago. Of course, I feel sad sometimes, but we can’t always walk around in tears, can we?’  
Slughorn laughed at that. ‘Spoken as a true man, Harry. Those who wear their emotions on their sleeves aren’t always better off.’ He remembered when Snape had said something like that to him during those failed Occlumency lessons. It was a strange conversation. Right? No. He should take another sip.  
‘But what if we talk about some more recent tragic events. Say, your godfather, Sirius Black? You must feel sad about that, right?’  
Harry expected the empty, angry, and tearing feeling he got when thinking about Sirius. It wasn’t there. Was Felix Felicis so powerful? Was that wat it also did, not just giving you luck but made you incapable of feeling anything negative? He should have asked Hermione the side effects before taking it. No, he shouldn’t. It’s working perfectly fine. He’s going to turn this conversation around to where he wants it to be. He took another sip, it seemed like a good idea.  
‘I miss Sirius, yes.’ Harry said while listening to the strangely casual voice coming out of his mouth. Was it strange? No, it wasn’t. It was the potion, nothing to worry about.  
‘What do you miss most about him?’ Slughorn asked, voice filled with sympathy.  
Harry tried to remember. What did he normally feel? A silence followed.  
‘You see, Harry. Using potions against me might not be the wisest act.’  
Normally Harry would be alarmed that his plan seemed to be discovered, but he had the feeling it would be all right. Felix merely steered the conversation this way.  
‘I didn’t have a choice, Professor.’ Lying wouldn’t be helping, he knew that much. But trying to appeal Slughorn’s softer side, that should work.  
‘You know by now that we need your memory, your real memory, of the conversation with Tom Riddle. Please Professor, be brave. For my mother.’  
Slughorn shook his head and grimaced a bit. ‘Harry, I understand what you’re trying to do. And I want to help you, I do. But I can’t just risk, well, everything. You may be a brave boy, but you’re also too young to fully comprehend the consequences. You don’t understand that now, but later, when you’ve grown up a bit, you will.’  
Harry’s mind went a bit foggy. He didn’t understand, why would Slughorn say no? The potion, it should make things easier. Not just make things feel easier. Again, that negative thought was erased. Slughorn just needed a bit more convincing. No worries. He took another sip of mead.  
Slughorn stood up from the table and placed a chair right next to Harry. He smiled and placed a hand over Harry’s. ‘You really have your mothers’ eyes.’ Slughorn said and Harry didn’t understand his tone of voice. Maybe he was breaking through the Professor’s defenses. Really quickly, apparently.  
Slughorn sighed and the hand disappeared again.  
‘I really don’t want to be the missing link to the mission of defeating You-Know-Who, but you understand my carefulness, don’t you Harry?’  
‘I understand, Professor. I just hoped for…’ his mind trailed away. The fogginess in his brain stayed a bit longer this time. He heard Slughorn mumble something. ‘If you cou – assur – nderstand?’  
Harry shook his head a bit. ‘Sorry, what did you say, Professor?’  
Slughorn laughed. ‘Too much of the mead, Harry? Or too much luck, perhaps? I said, if you could assure that my memory wouldn’t leave this room…’  
Harry’s mind tried to follow. ‘Professor, I have to show the memory to Professor Dumbledore.’  
‘Well, there is another option. You could just tell him. Then there wouldn’t be any physical evidence of my memory…’ Harry liked where this was going but Slughorn seemed hesitant.  
‘Yes, that’s a great idea, Professor.’ Harry encouraged.  
Slughorn smiled a bit at that. ‘Then it’s a plan. But I need some more encouragement in the form of more honey mead before I tell you the memory.’ Slughorn got a second – second? - bottle from the cabinet and filled their glasses. Harry never drank that much, but it didn’t seem to harm the plan. It made Slughorn open up to him, apparently. Slughorn raised his glass the second time. ‘To being euphoric.’ Slughorn said. Harry repeated the words and downed his glass. The mead was really, really nice.  
Slughorn filled his glass a second time. Harry’s mind wandered a bit from that point on. The Potions Professor told him funny stories about students in the Slug Club, he could even dig up some anecdotes from family members of students Harry knew. The Potions Professor really had a good memory for these sorts of things. For the second time, the Professor put his hand again on Harry’s hand. ‘I can’t believe I’m talking to the son of Lily Evans. And what a great man he is going to be.’ Harry tried to focus on the Professor’s eyes, but everything was swimming a bit. ‘T-thanks, Professor.’ Harry mumbled. Slughorns fingers stroked the back of Harry’s hand. Harry stared confused at the gesture. ‘Don’t worry, it’s the drink. It’s perfectly fine, Harry.’  
The words were comforting because it was exactly what his mind was saying to him. Nothing was wrong or could ever be wrong. ‘Yes.’ He nodded and closed his eyes to avoid feeling dizzier. ‘No, don’t close your eyes. They are extraordinary.’ Slughorn whispered and his hand let go of Harry’s. Instead it began caressing Harry’s face. Harry’s eyes opened quickly and the world began to move too quickly around him. He stumbled forward from his chair and Slughorn held him steady by the shoulders. ‘Whoa there, maybe this should be your last drink tonight, don’t you think?’  
Harry nodded. The euphoric feeling in his stomach began to falter a bit. ‘Yes. C-can you tell me what you remember, Professor?’  
Slughorn hummed at that and his hand began stroking Harry’s hair away from his face. ‘Have you ever been kissed, Harry?’ Harry frowned. ‘What?’  
‘I understand that’s a difficult topic to talk about to a Professor, but what I’m going to share is also difficult. I just want to be on the same level of trust, you understand?’  
That made sense. Harry nodded and regretted it immediately. It made him feel dizzier than before, but Slughorn understood the gesture.  
‘I’ve kissed someone.’ He said while holding on to the table. He focused on a spot on the wall.  
‘When?’ Despite his last comment, Slughorn slides Harry’s half-finished drink a bit more forward. Harry took a small sip.  
‘Last year. Around Christmas.’  
‘Always a romantic time. Was it your first kiss?’  
‘Yes.’ Harry couldn’t bear to nod anymore.  
‘How was it?’  
‘Okay, I guess.’  
Slughorn chuckled softly at that. ‘You guess? That makes me think you don’t have another experience to compare it to.’  
Harry didn’t know how to respond to that and shook his shoulders a little.  
‘What about sex?’  
Harry felt a blush creeping from his neck to his cheeks. ‘What about it?’ he said while trying to look a bit defiantly, although the world swimming up and down didn’t help a bit.  
‘Nothing, nothing.’ Slughorn raised his hands defensively, with an amused expression on his face. ‘It’s just hard to believe that a young man with your name and status hasn’t found himself a girlfriend yet.’  
‘Well, I didn’t had time for that.’  
Slughorn chuckled. ‘You’re sixteen, you should make time. I’m sure you have, urges… right?’  
Harry blushed again. ‘Professor, the memory?’  
‘Yes yes, in a minute. You haven’t earned my trust yet, Harry, I’m sorry. You’re going to know my deepest secret. It’s only common sense I should get to know yours.’  
Harry tried to keep the conversation in control, like he had when the Felix Felicis was at its peak, but it was like trying to hold onto fog. The potion was wearing off and he had to continue the mission with his own wits.  
‘Okay. What do you want to know?’ Harry sighed.  
Slughorn filled their glasses again. ‘The question stands, Harry. Don’t you want a girlfriend?’  
Ginny crossed Harry’s mind but the possibility of calling her his girlfriend seemed far away. Not with Dean Thomas in the way, not to mention Ron.  
‘Harry?’  
‘I never really thought about having a girlfriend, Professor.’  
Slughorn gestured Harry should take another sip, which Harry did.  
‘I see. A boyfriend then?’  
Harry coughed up his drink. ‘N-no.’ he said.  
‘Oh, don’t be so innocent, Harry. It’s perfectly fine if you want a boyfriend.’  
Harry shook his head. ‘I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… I like girls. That’s it.’  
Slughorn looked confused. ‘Then it surprises me that you don’t have one, yet. Aren’t you curious about sex?’  
Harry felt his face turning red again. ‘Honestly, Professor, I don’t think about those things a lot.’ He took another sip of his mead.  
‘That’s hard to believe from a sixteen-year-old boy.’ He heard Slughorn chuckle a bit and Harry started to get angry. Was he being laughed at?  
‘I’m sorry, Harry. I see that I was being too forward. I believe you, it just proves how dedicated you are to your cause. No time for distractions. But it’s a bit sad, you know?’  
Harry looked confused at Slughorn.  
‘Well, –’ he tried to answer the look Harry gave him ‘-It’s normal that at your age you start to experiment. I’m sure you sometimes have the feeling on missing things. Don’t you think about someone when you masturbate?’  
Harry’s mouth opened and closed again. If he was blushing before his face must be on fire now. He never talked to someone about these things. Why should he? How do you respond to these questions? His head was feeling heavy and foggy again. He should have stopped drinking a while ago.  
He wanted to ask about the memory again, but he understood now he needed to earn Slughorn’s trust.  
‘I don’t do that often.’ He said softly.  
Slughorn laughed. ‘No, of course not. Not while sleeping with so many others around you in your dormitory.’ Slughorn passed him another drink. Harry ignored it.  
‘Exactly.’ Harry said stiffly.  
‘But when you do…?’  
‘I don’t know.’  
Slughorn scooted the ignored drink more forward. Harry took another sip. Then decided to down it again. He thought it would make things easier. The more he would share about his personal life the more Slughorn would feel safe to tell Harry the memory.  
‘I don’t think about specific things. I just, get on with it. I don’t always like doing it.’  
Where did that came from?  
‘Oh, why is that, Harry?’  
‘Because it’s… I don’t know.’ Slughorn had filled his glass again and Harry drinks again. It’s definitely too much this time. His head is swimming.  
‘Shameful?’ Slughorn suggested from somewhere far away.  
‘I guess.’ Harry mumbles and he closes his eyes. He wills himself to focus to obtain the memory. If he’s going to fall asleep now because he can’t hold his liquor, how is he going to explain that to Dumbledore? He’s so close.  
‘Professor. The memory?’ It sounded unstable. Everything is whirling. Eyes open, eyes closed, it doesn’t matter. Everything is turning around him.  
‘Almost, Harry.’  
Harry heard the sound of a chair scraping the ground. Before he knows it, he feels Slughorns hand on his thigh. He jerks up.  
Slughorn is making sounds like some would use calming a young Thestral.  
‘I need the feeling that I can trust you, Harry. You said you understood that.’ His hands are moving more upwards, towards – Harry jerks up again.  
Slughorn chuckled. ‘Relax. Nothing’s wrong.’  
His hands feel like they are everywhere. In his hair, on his chest, his knees, thighs, stomach. Harry is trembling and doesn’t know what to do. He can’t think clearly. Something about this feels so wrong, but he needs Slughorn’s trust. Slughorn buttoned open his robes and Harry felt it sliding around his body and eventually falling to the ground. Slughorn’s face was a pink blob and came up very close. He kissed Harry tenderly, experimentally. The mustache tickled but Harry didn’t feel much other than that. He zoned out and stared at nothing. Slughorn zipped open Harry’s trousers and started squeezing his fat fingers in his underpants. For a while he stroked his hipbones, but soon trailed down further. Following the dark hairs and – ‘Ah’. It sounded scared, weak. Harry tried to stand up but his body felt unnaturally heavy. Slughorn didn’t even stop him, he was simply unable to go away.  
‘You want to lie down, Harry? I’m afraid you had a bit too much to drink.’  
‘T-tell me. Please. Memory?’  
Slughorn placed his arm around Harry and half carried him to a door in the back. Harry was half aware that his pants were almost dropping down because it was unbuttoned. He tried desperately to keep them up. Slughorn opened the door and led Harry to a bed. Harry laid on his side and Slughorn pushed him unto his back. It made the world turn around him more intensely. Harry felt his shoes, socks and pants were taken off. When he lay there in his T-shirt and boxers he felt exposed. This is what he slept in, normally. Not something a Professor should see.  
The hands were back, on his stomach. Harry tried to turn around but he wasn’t able. ‘You should eat more, Harry.’ Slughorn said while stroking his stomach and his ribs. ‘You’re too thin. And too small.’  
‘I want to go to my dorm, Professor.’ Harry said softly. He wasn’t sure if Slughorn was able to hear that. Apparently not because his Professor seemed occupied. He started lying next to him, it made the bed sink in and creek. The warm, heavy weight of his Professor’s body was pressing against his back. Sickeningly close. He felt fingers hooking around his boxers and he jolted. ‘Stop’.  
‘Now now Harry, I need to trust you. You used a potion against me instead of doing it the honest way. I’ll trust you after this.’  
‘I’m sorry. Forget the memory. I just – I don’t-’ Harry had never felt this panicked. His body wasn’t in control and it felt like he couldn’t explain what he wanted. Slughorn didn’t seem to understand what he was trying to say.  
‘It’s all right. No need to apologize. Just relax.’ His boxers were pulled down and Harry’s chest was moving too fast. His breathing sounded unnatural in his own ears. He heard a weird click and suddenly oily fingers touched his penis. A high squeak escaped. The fingers were wrapping around him and tugged softly. It didn’t hurt but it was too much. He felt himself swell up and he breathed heavily. His body seemed separated from his mind. His body was enjoying this. His mind was terrified. Soft sounds escaped from his throat and it sounded panicked.  
Another hand traveled under his T-shirt while the other hand kept steadily jerking him off. Then the other hand moved slowly more down, until it probed a finger between his butt cheeks.  
Harry’s fogged mind sobered up a bit at that. He needed to get out but Slughorn’s grip was painful now. ‘I need to trust you, Harry.’ Slughorn warned. ‘Dumbledore is going to be disappointed if you have nothing to tell him.’  
The thought of disappointing the Headmaster a second time seemed unbearable. It was all for a greater cause. Harry could live through this. He’d lived through worse. Wasn’t a Cruciatus curse more painful than this? Seeing his friends threatened by Death Eaters last year, wasn’t that worse? Sirius, dying before his eyes because of Harry’s stupidity… The tears were flowing now. The emotion’s he couldn’t reach before because of the potion were hitting him. Hard.  
The finger went in and it felt extremely uncomfortable. Harry tried not to panic again. A second finger followed quickly and it was too painful. He felt his erection soften at that. Slughorn made weird movements with the fingers inside him, like trying to make more room where there couldn’t be any more. Could there?  
The fingers went deeper and suddenly it hit something. A spark of electricity moved from deep inside him straight to his dick. He moaned softly. He’d never felt something like that before. Was there something wrong with him, was something broken now? Slughorn chuckled and his fingers stroke against that spot again and Harry closed his eyes. His hips pushed forward into Slughorn’s hand. His penis was hard again. Unwillingly Harry made a confused sound. Slughorn laughed softly.  
‘You seem to enjoy yourself.’ He whispered in Harry’s ear and started moving his fingers again. Harry’s hips jolted forward again and he bit his lip. ‘Don’t hold back, Harry, listen to your urges. It’s natural.’  
Slughorn didn’t give him any respite after that. He kept stroking, probing, until Harry was sobbing and making uncontrollable sounds. He hated his lack of self-control. Pre-come was leaking freely and Harry knew from experience it wouldn’t take him long to come. He really didn’t want that to happen.  
‘N-no-no-no-no-’  
‘Sh, let me look into your eyes.’ Slughorn rolled a bit over him without letting his entire weight crush Harry. Harry refused eye contact and buried his head in the wet pillow.  
Slughorn made a warning sound. ‘Look at me. Be a man.’  
Shame hit him hard at that point. He wasn’t being a man. He was weak, crying his eyes out. Was he supposed to be Voldemort’s equal? He felt worthless.  
He lifted his head from the pillow and looked into Slughorn’s pale yes.  
‘Yes. Keep looking.’  
The fingers hit that spot unceremoniously and it was too much. The pleasure, the electricity shot from that spot, to his balls, to his dick and he came with a high-pitched sound. Semen spurted out onto his Professor’s hands and the pleasure was short lived. Humiliation, confusion, shock. That was what he felt.  
Professor Slughorn wiped his fingers off on Harry’s T-shirt.  
‘I trust you now, Harry.’


End file.
